PandaPie

Whiteboard

2010-07-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

It really makes you think.

Disney Pop-Tarts: Miley Vs. Selena

2010-06-29T04:26:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to see how the stable of Disney pop-tarts tackle the tail-end of their adolescence both in their music and their image. Vanessa Hudgens seems to be focusing on films that gradually get more mature (I’m only really basing this on Band Slam and Beastly, I don’t pay her that much attention), perhaps in an effort to distance herself from her nudie-scandal. Hilary Duff... well... is she still alive? I’ve not heard anything about her since her parents divorced. Same for her horse-faced sister.

But, Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are the interesting ones to me. When Miley decided to “grow up”, she makes rebellious songs, saucy videos, and wears less and less clothes. I think at one point she was wearing macrame. Huh. Don’t get me wrong, I completely adore her. I actually think of all the Disney pop-tarts she’s probably the most musically talented - neck and neck with Demi Lovato - and she’s still kept that goofball charm that made Hannah Montana such a guilty pleasure. I also admire and am completely fascinated by the fact that she’s openly Christian AND supports gay marriage. Who doesn’t love a Christian who hearts teh gayz? Kristen Chenoweth anyone? Plus, it also means that hoards of tweens who idolize Hannah Montana now heart teh gayz too, and that bodes well.

But still.. she’s wearing macrame now. See? This outfit is held together with some knots and a prayer.

Then we have Selena Gomez who has come from out of nowhere to be my most beloved and adored Disney pop-tart. It seemed to me that for a long time she was overshadowed by the likes of Miley and Demi and the Jo Bros, and then somewhere along the line, there she was... Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie became the second most viewed Disney Channel Original Movie, and her first album “Kiss & Tell” was really... not bad at all. She doesn’t have the vocal chops of Demi or Miley, but it has a pleasant texture and character, and the album - a somewhat par-for-the-course selection of teen pop-rock - played to her strengths. And then there was that song! Naturally completely caught my attention and infected my brain with its electro-synthy goodness. But where would she go next?

Well, unlike Miley, when Selena Gomez decided she wanted to “grow up”, instead of losing her pants and recording a precocious, skanky, rebellion tune a’la Can’t Be Tamed, she threw on some classy, tasteful frocks and put out a piece of glorious pop perfection. Taking inspiration from Naturally and running with it, Round and Round continues with the infectious dance/electro-pop sound. And I gotta say, this song is completely addictive, and the bridge into the chorus is utterly irresistible. UTTERLY irresistible. And now that she's BFF with the most wholesome of the wholesome Taylor Swift, I’m hoping like crazy and throwing salt over my shoulder that Selena breaks the so-called “Disney Curse”.

Something Is Rotten In The State Health Department (specifically, the level 3 bathroom...)

2010-03-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

Dearest Service Centre,

I am writing to inform you that the toilet in the second stall from the entrance in the men's bathroom on level three appears to be blocked.

This afternoon I went to use the bathroom and lifted the lid to reveal a particularly nasty remnant. I flushed to save the unpleasant experience for others that might follow in my unfortunate steps only to watch with dread as the water (and its... occupants...) filled to the rim. To my most grateful relief, it did not overflow, nor did it empty however. I was advised that the Service Centre was the correct avenue to report this, and so, as much as I would like to spare you these most disagreeable details, I am dutifully and solemnly forwarding them to you - the esteemed caretakers of our fine building.

In spite of the insalubrious nature of my email, I wish you a wonderful afternoon.

Yours sincerely,
Raynor

This really happened, and I really sent this email. Not that I think it's so crazy or unbelievable or anything, but just so you knew I wasn't B.S.ing. Kthnx.

Strangers Among Us, or: How I Handle Unsavory Facebook Friends

2010-03-16T00:14:00.000-07:00

I openly admit that I'm a social networking whore. It should also be said that I'm not a terribly social person: I can't handle social groups larger than three or four people, and I don't feel a pressing need to have a hugely expansive circle of friends, so I wouldn't say my habit is to a point of ridiculous excess - Myspace has fallen to the wayside (alas!) so really it's just down to Facebook and Twitter. But I check them religiously.

I have three iPhone apps to assist this: I have the standard Facebook app, I have Tweetie 2, and I have another app entirely that allows me to post updates to Facebook and Twitter simultaneously. Multiple times a day. And I love it. Yet this habitual pleasure of mine presents its cons and the greatest of these for me is the dreaded Friend Request. There are a few different kinds of these friend requests.

The first is the "Kosher Friend Request". This comes from someone you actually know and like and actually consider a friend, or at least a pleasant acquaintance. This doesn't present a problem; it's awesome. And it's how it should be. This category could be extended to those requests you receive from someone you perhaps haven't met in person, but you have a good friend in common, and you've spoken via a thread of comments on that person's wall. This should typically be accompanied by a message or some form of explanation "Oh, hey, I'm Cindy's friend and from that convo today you seemed cool." Totally fine.

But then the waters become muddy. The second kind is the "Unsolicited Friend Request". A friend request from someone you didn't even know existed until their smug little thumbnail appears in your notifications. Sure, you might have some friends in common, but this is likely to be merely a fruit of friend-whoring. Back in the days of Myspace and before people thought it might actually be a good idea to protect their privacy on Facebook, this might have been a sound transaction, but again, with explanation. "Your profile is awesome, and we love a lot of the same things...". That might have held some credence, but now that most people keep their stuff private, this doesn't happen anymore. They've just sent you a request, sight-unseen, no explanation. I could get irritated. I could be wierded out. But my reaction is far simpler. "Ignore". I don't know who this person is, so I don't waste much thought on the topic. I just deny the request and be done with it.

But then there's the dreaded "I-Forgot-That-I-Knew-You-Or-I'd-Have-Blocked-You-By-Now Friend Request". This is from someone you know, and wish you didn't. Perhaps they're from high school, or a loser friend of a sibling or family member, or a conquest you'd perhaps rather forget, or perhaps they're from your social circle but you just plain, straight out don't like them. These are the ones that cause me the most stress, and I get cross with them that they've put me in this position. Uh, dude... I didn't like you in high school, I don't like you now. Didn't you beat me up once? Yeah. Why are you friend requesting me? For serious?

Now, I don't want to seem like a total nasty pube who hates everyone. It's not the case at all. But Facebook - to me at least, and I'm sure many others - is a private space. I don't want any old person seeing my pictures and conversations and whiny updates. I don't want some dude I went on a really awkward date with to be privy to my flirty banter with more eligible peeps or my unflattering pictures. Pragmatically, my mind tells me I have every right to deny and accept friend requests as I please. But I still stress about it, especially if we have common friends - real or Facebook. I'll leave that request sitting there for weeks.

My old strategy was to add them and then surreptitiously delete them a month or two later. It generally seemed to go unnoticed, because let's face, half of these people barely say more than a word to you once they've added you anyhow; and the chances are they've been whoring themselves all over Facebook with a friend count in the thousands to match so the likelihood that you even show up in their feed is slim to none. But I came to the conclusion this is kinda douchey. My current policy is to let it sit there for a while and then ignore the request.

It's completely retarded and irrational, but I feel like if I let it sit there for a while, it gives the impression that I've put time into considering my decision. I've not just dismissed them out of hand and junked the request straight up. It makes me feel less... cruel? This doesn't always work. I had one guy who I'd met once or twice and we had a mutual friend. Every time we both commented on this mutual friend's updates, I got a friend request. I'd leave it for a bit then ignore it. The next time we both commented, another request and another rejection. This cycle must have repeated itself no less than five times, before I get a message asking if he'd done anything wrong. What are you supposed to answer to that? What did you do wrong? You friend requested me four hundred times and didn't get the hint, that's what! I replied that there was no bad blood but rather I just kept FB for my close friends. Perhaps a bit of a white lie, but definitely held some truthiness.

So perhaps it makes me a complete dick, but I, for one, am an advocate for the right to deny friend requests. Just ask yourself if you would invite this person into your home without feeling like you need to keep an eye on them. Would you admit your secret passion for Gilmore Girls to them? Would you want this individual to be privy to all your personal dealings, flirting, poor-taste jokes, candid party snaps, so on and so forth? If you get an uneasy feeling even before you've answered these questions, press the ignore button. Just. Do. It. You'll be better for it.

Kerli - Walking on Air

2010-03-03T22:48:00.000-08:00

Some candy for your eye and earparts. If you can watch this and not OMG DIE, there is something seriously, seriously wrong with you.

Pan xx

Overdue Hump Day Blog Whoring - Double Whammy

2010-02-26T23:42:00.000-08:00

Alright, so I missed this Wednesday and last Wednesday, but now I have TWO things to whore to you this week, so I'm making up for it, 'kay? And they're both super awesome, so don't hate me or nuffin'.

First up are the KoverBoyz. One of my favorite things to do is sit on youtube and find people doing covers of songs I like. Most of them are terrible, some are funny, and sometimes I'm blown away. And so it was that I discovered these dudes. They pick songs that you wouldn't necessarily expect two guys to cover, and they don't cover them as a joke - sure they have fun, but they're seriously good quality, and respectful to the originals. I shall post my favorite:

This is one of my faves, but their covers of Tik Tok by Ke$ha and Alejandro by Lady GaGa is are also awesome. SERIOUSLY check 'em out and give 'em some love. Any subscribers I can get them will make me happy. Josh - who plays the guitar - also has a guitar tutorial channel, so check that out too, it's very good. They have other little homes on the web, but all those details are on the profile. Go look now, yeah?

Secondly! My friend AMY!!! She's a lovely, delightful lady, and she's recently started a blog which has a truly inspired idea. She's going back to all the things she decided she hated when she was a child and giving them the benefit of the doubt and re-evaluating as an adult. For real... this is the stuff award-winning sit-coms are based on. First up was peanut-related foods. Peanut butter, peanut candy bars, satay. Ohmygoodness, you have no idea how hilarious it was to follow her doing this. She has a poll for what's up next, so go read up on the Peanut Capers and then vote for the next thing at Amy Tries Again.

A-woooo! Two videos! I must love you or summat. So, there, I've made up for my two missed Hump Day Blog Whoring installments. Hey, life gets in the way, y'all.

Keep watching this space for some amusing tales of my workplace. Love your face (which I can't see, so take it on faith).

- Raynie

My Pussy Is Hanging Out.

2010-02-17T02:00:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so, Hump Day Blog Whoring will be postponed until tomorrow. So it will be Post-Hump Day Blog Whoring. Post-coitus? Unsavory!

In the meantime, enjoy this video of the illustrious Ms. Spears proclaiming the freedom of her kitty-kat.

Stuff Panda Adores

2010-02-15T02:11:00.000-08:00

Ladies, gentlemen and kittens, welcome to the very first installment of SPA - Stuff Panda Adores. SPA will be my weekly (or fortnightly, I'm not very good with time constraints) routine where I shall post a list of things that are currently making me squeal with delight, and hopefully will illicit the same response from you, dear readers, or at least inspire you to seek out your own stuff to adore. SO HERE GOES:

This week I am ♥'ing all over the faces of Miss Dita Von Teese (and her love for Diorific lipstick #13, such a gorgeous red). She inspires me to embrace femininity and to look polished at all times:

The beautiful Gemma Arterton, particularly for her role in St Trinians, which I've only recently seen - my mother bought it for me the other day for 5 bucks because, "You look like the girl on the cover!" I love my mum.

While these two lovely minxes are topping the list this week, other notable entries include:

The rain. I love you rain, please stick around for a morning where I can sleep in.
My crazy kitten Penny, who is currently trying to scale the walls in hot pursuit of a moth.
Dresses with tulle skirts and multitudes of girly adornments - bows, ruffles, lace... etc.
Tulle in general.
Lush for creating bath bombs that fill my house with the scent of creaming soda and turn my bath blue. And for hiring brilliant staff who plan zombie contigency plans and poker girls nights with me.
Apocalyptica and their Metallica covers. On cellos. CELLOS. Check them out.
The True Blood books.
The excitement of getting my next tattoo on March 17. *implode*
Gatsby and our plans to dominate the world with our adorable merchandise.
My boyfriend for whisking me off to the beach for Valentine's and bringing me home frozen yoghurt because it was all I felt like eating in this crazy heat.
Roses. Anything with roses. I have gone rose-crazy. I especially love the giant rose rings from Sportsgirl.

Tell me something you're in love with right now! Are you batty for bubble tea or head over heels in love with headbands? Spill. :D

Love love love.

Panda xx

Stuff I Saw & What I Thought Of It

2010-02-13T07:58:00.000-08:00

I saw two films today, and one was vastly better than the other, though you could fairly say they're apples and oranges. But, the lesser of the two certainly wasn't bad.

Daybreakers - Starring: Ethan Hawke, Sam Neill, Claudia Karvan, Willem Dafoe, Isabella Lucas

I saw this at the cinemas with Candice and I was unsure what to expect. It's a U.S. - Australian co-production, and Australian films so often fail miserably, especially genre pieces (my opinion, being honest, y'all). But, I get pretty stoked when an Australian movie isn't a miserable piece of shit (Wolf Creek? AWESOME.) so I wanted to give it a chance.

For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's a near-future vampire film, set in America but made in Australia. Basically, humans have nearly died out, and this is a problem for vampires for obvious reasons.

I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't without it's flaws, but it managed to overcome them. Flaws first. Ethan Hawke looked tired and bored, but it kinda suited the role; Willem Dafoe's character was totally out of place in the movie and had an actor with less innate awesomeness been cast it would have been horribly, horribly wrong. Isabella Lucas still can't act, but she's pretty, and that's all she really needed to do. Jay Laga'aia is such a dude and ought to have been a much bigger character. Claudia Karvan and Sam Neill... They're both incredible, and Sam Neill plays a sufficiently suave and charismatic baddie, but Claudia was criminally underused. She made her underwritten role interesting, and she was engaging to watch. Towards the end it seemed they'd run out of things to do with her but kept her onscreen anyway. And lastly, it was freakin' awesome seeing parts of Brisbane in the film. Woo! So nice to -not- see New York for once. But when the plot took to the countryside it was so blatantly the Australian countryside that it was way to jarring and weird. Perhaps to an American audience it would go unnoticed, but to me it was really off-putting and completely brought me out of the setting. Make us believe it's America, or don't bother, kthnx.

Beyond this stuff, it suffered a few of the usual things that horror flicks often do; some characters appear only to die, and so it's hard to give two turds about 'em. There were some truly stupid scares. One involves a bat (yup) suddenly flying across the screen, but it was a cheap fright and laughable after the fact. And by the end it all resorted to a cheap hack-n-slash resolution, which I enjoyed but didn't do the thoughtful beginning complete justice.

Okay, okay, so now you're thinking "I thought you said you liked it? Was there -anything- good about it?" And yes, there was. All the lame-o stuff can be forgiven because it's so stylishly done, and praise-baby-jebus, none of the vampires sparkle (although the main character's name is Edward, and he's equally sad and mopey). In fact there was a cute bit where they did the whole no-reflection thing, but for the most part, it didn't build any mythology beyond the whole "we're dead and we drink blood and sun is bad" deal.

I would go so far as to say that the opening scene was actually quite poignant, and the introduction was thoughtful and interesting. The premise isn't subtle in its allegory, but it was nice to finally have a vampire story that isn't schmaltzy, tweeny or horn-baggy (there were lots of titties, but not the sexy kind). The narrative lost it's thoughtfulness towards the end, but the action is so nicely done that I was totally okay with that. And, the music was incredible. Seriously, my favorite things about this entire film were Claudia Karvan and the score.

I was unsure when I left the cinema whether I enjoyed it so much because it was that great, or because I didn't really expect much of it, and the more I ponder it, the gloss wears off and the more I think "yeah, I'm not really wetting myself anymore". That said, it's perfectly competent and enjoyable, and if not worth the cinema ticket (my ticket and a frozen cola was $21 and change! I miss my student card), definitely a DVD rental.

Adam - Starring: Hugh Dancy, Rose Byrne, Amy Irving, Peter Gallagher

Now, I admit, I downloaded this one. Now, before y'all reprimand me, let me explain myself. I saw the trailer for this a good while ago on Apple and I got that wonderful shivery feeling when you just know something is going to be special. And I waited... and waited... I don't know if never received a theatrical release in Lose-stralia, but I had my eye out and never found it showing. So then I was looking for it on DVD, and I've not yet found it. So I downloaded it, and I can assure you that I will be buying it first chance I get.

This movie is -magical-. I adored it from start to finish. It's a quiet little film and it just wandered into my heart, took a polite little seat in the corner and never left.

Adam tells the story of a young man with Asperger's Syndrome who begins a friendship with a woman who moves into his building. Hugh Dancy is absolutely understated and sensitive in his portrayal of Adam and avoids all the lovable-nutcase-by-numbers overacting that so many other actors would. Rose Byrne is enchanting in a completely effortless way as Beth. She's not ditzy or quirky just believably sweet. Neither of them try to orchestrate sympathy and the entire film is really quite sensitive and beautiful without being sentimental or schmaltzy.

My heart broke about a million times. I related to Adam so completely and I was touched by Beth's quiet, unsure bravery. And the soundtrack was equally beautiful and I downloaded it (from iTunes) immediately after. It seems these days Joshua Radin and The Weepies are on the mandatory checklist for indie film soundtracks - not that I'm complaining.

I really don't want to give too much away about this film. I just want you to go watch it. So, go watch it. Now. Go on.

Stuff I Want To See and Stuff I'll Probably Skip

A Single Man - I saw the trailer for this and felt like my brain had been fucked roughly with beautiful awesomeness and it's absolutely at the top-top-top of my "Wanna See" list. Point of interest: it's produced and directed by Tom Ford. Yup, -that- Tom Ford; the fashion designer who's as delicious as he is freakishly talented.

From Paris With Love - Oh, BOOOOO. This film looks like a steaming pile of crap. Jonathan Rhys Mayers is a delightful chappy, so that's a shame. Too bad that John Travolta decided to take a big filthy turd all over this film by trying too hard to be a dude and ending up looking like a complete and total tool. For serious, I thought to myself "Man, if J-Trav forces it any harder, he's going to end up with a distended and bleeding anus". Still, I'm basing this on the trailer, so I could be proven wrong, but I won't be spending money to find out.

Clash of the Titans - Sam Worthington. Greek gods. Nuff said, gimme my ticket.

The Wolfman - I -want- to be excited about this, but every time I think about Benicio Del Toro mackin' on Emily Blunt I vomit into my mouth a little. He's a dude, but Emily is a beautiful angel. A beautiful. Perfect. Angel. Even if I managed to get used to that image, he still looks totally out of place. I dunno, I still clinging to the possibility that it will be as awesome as I want it to be.

Alice In Wonderland - I guarantee you that after seeing this I will be squealing non-stop for an entire week at least.

Children Are Pets, Gays Are Paris Hilton & Pictures of Two Awesome Ladies

2010-02-12T03:51:00.000-08:00

This week my faith in Australian politics was shattered and restored in one fell swoop, so I guess I'm really just back where I began. As you may be aware, altruistic surrogacy was made legal in Queensland... the last Australian state to do so. And this is a wonderful thing, because not only has it been legalized, but it's been legalized without amendments to exclude same-sex couples or single parents. I wanted to weight in on the topic, though I will never be able to talk politics with the same intelligence, humor, appeal or pure awesomeness of the likes of Rachel Maddow (who has nothing to do with this topic except that she's my favorite person in the world at the moment).

In and of itself, this is a great thing, I believe, but it was inevitable that this would spark controversy. Adding fuel to the fire was the opposition stating that they would whole-heartedly support the bill if it excluded same-sex couples and single parents, backed by many Christian and religious groups. Indeed, during the bill's debate the comments it elicited were completely laughable. One opposition member made a statement to the effect of gay couples viewing children as "pets" and status symbols, and that lesbians or single mothers could not possibly raise a son because they would not be able to take them into a male public bathroom. There was another suggestion that allowing surrogacy would result in another "Lost Generation" and a future reconciliation process when we realize the error of our evil left-wing ways.

It perplexes me that these are the arguments that surfaced. I was raised - very well and lovingly, I might add - by two parents, a man and a woman, and until I was old enough to go to a public bathroom myself, my mother took me into the women's bathroom or my father took me to the men's bathroom, and so it was for all the boys my age at shopping centers, cinemas, department stores, or any public place. Using a public bathroom was really not a serious component of my development, at least, not beyond the early realization that public bathrooms are revolting and that I should avoid using them at any cost (perhaps then it's a godsend that a lesbian couple's son would never be able to endure the horror...).The fact that the people who made these comments would perhaps be the first to throw their arms up about predators or pedophiles should the boy be taken into the men's bathroom anyway makes the statement even more amusing.

Further more, I seriously doubt that any couple or adult would be willing to go through the financial, emotional and legal hassles of arranging a surrogacy (or adoption or IVF for that matter) if they did not want to truly, desperately be parents and provide a loving home. If the gays really wanted a fancy pet, wouldn't they just get, uh, I don't know... a... pet? Like a dog or something? And anyone under the illusion that surrogacy would be a completely unregulated process are insane. I also think they seem to miss the fact that quite often the surrogate mother is not the child's biological mother anyway. The fact that commercial surrogacy is still illegal means that the chance of the surrogate being a complete stranger who decides to lend out her womb is going to be pretty slim to none. So, who other than a family member or dear friend is likely to offer to carry your child without demands of recompense? Combine the likelihood that a) the child is biologically the commissioning parents' and b) the surrogate is a loved and trusted friend or family member and I'm left wondering how a second "Lost Generation" fits in there.

It all gives me a headache that these are the conclusions state politicians have drawn because these people are running this country. I'm by no means saying that if they disagree with this bill they're "rednecks" or "bigots", as they seem to have been labeled by the Labor party (which, mind you, are equally disappointing actions on their part). In fact, I have great respect for the Labor members who crossed the floor against the bill, for they did so without resorting to ignorant or inflammatory jibes, but merely stated it was a matter of conscience. It was an incredibly brave thing to do, as crossing the floor seems so frowned upon in Australian politics. And yet I can't help but be reminded of one of the best quips about people who oppose gay marriage - "If you don't like gay marriage, don't marry a gay". If you're against surrogacy, don't have someone else birth your baby.

Perhaps I'm naive, but at the end of the day, I understand that democracy is a case of "best for most, not for all". It's impossible to please everyone, but the government is there to represent the people and "the people" aren't going to agree on everything, so it can only do what they determine is best in response to what the majority demands. I think by now this should be a concept that Australian's can just accept with out Christians and conservatives being denounced as bigoted rednecks and without secular liberals labeled evil radicals.

In a podcast by the Gay Christian Network that I listened to a while ago, the founder, Justin Lee was speaking about gay marriage and he referred to an essay by C.S. Lewis which he'd written about divorce. Now, I haven't read this myself, so I'm open to corrections or additions for accuracy, but I'm sure I got the gist. He stated that as a Christian, he was opposed to divorce. But, it was not for Christians to deny the wider society access to divorce. Whether it was legal for the masses or not, Christians must defer to the morals of their faith within the broader laws of the country. And so it is with surrogacy.

Church and state are separate, and for very good reason, and this seems to be a point that Australia has such a struggle coming to terms with. I understand that our country has a strong Christian heritage, and these historical remnants are going to come up often such as the recitation of the Lord's prayer at the sitting of Parliament. But without this segregation, we would not have religious freedom and could we really then lay claim to being a "multicultural" nation? The point is, the law should not be determined by Christian morality or any other religious morality for that matter, but rather, should instead have a greater reach with a broader, secular morality. It is within this morality that individuals may apply their own religious or personal moral code, Christian or not, and I believe that the passing of the surrogacy bill - after all the bickering and name-calling is done - is a testament to this.

Hump Day Blog Whoring - Wendy Molyneux

2010-02-09T20:42:00.001-08:00

Hump Day is here again, y'all! And for today's installment of Hump Day Blog Whoring, I have a cornucopia of funny amusement for you to go and follow obsessively.

I don't even know how I stumbled on Wendy Molyneux's blog Fake Interviews With Real Celebrities, but I found it, I loved it, and have since added her Tumbr and Twitter to my list of cool shiz to follow. And now, I'm making a gift of it to you. No need to thank me. It's just what I do.

Her droll observations on pop culture and everyday bizarreness have often made my day. I also managed to score a copy of her book "Everything Is Wrong With You" which is a parody of self-help books. I'm pretty sure a borderline retard such as Tom Cruise could successfully make fun of self-help books (credit where credit is due: "Psychology is a pseudo science" - Scientologist or comic genius?), let alone someone *actually* smart and funny like Wendy. I'm pretty sure this book will make me laugh hard enough to cough up an internal organ or three. Win for me! I'll keep you posted on the organ count once I've received it.

Wendy's blog - Fake Interviews With Real Celebrities

Her lastest article on McSweeney's

Her Tumblr

Her Twitter

The goal for next week is to actually make at least one blog entry between HDBW. Fun.

Hump Day Blog Whoring - Ouch My Face Hurts

2010-02-03T00:57:00.000-08:00

Here it is, people. Hump Day.

And I can't tell you how glad I am this week is almost through. I'm so sick of this week. You ever meet those people who are so frustrating that you just want to punch them in the face? I deal with some of these people at work. Hell, they're so frustrating I'd punch myself in the face just to have a reason to get away from them.

I shan't get into it, because this place was never meant to be a forum for venting the trails and tribulations of my accidental career, but I shall ask you this:

How hard is it to grasp the concept of the "Subject" field of an email? Hmm? If I get one more email with the subject "Hi Raynor" followed by an email with text so broken and hackneyed I swear they typed it with their elbows I may burst into uncontrollable sobbing unleashed by my utter and total loss of hope for the future of humanity. And we all know what grown-man-tears are like. Uncomfortable...

But I shall bore you no more and instead shall present you the first installment of Hump Day Blog Whoring! Sheow!

This week, I'm whoring Ouch My Face Hurts by the lovely Ms. Maddy.

All you really need to know is that her slant on the world is always well observed and usually hilarious. The other thing that I love is that I disagree with her on a lot of things, like the entries in some of her Top 5 lists, but her critique of these things are too funny so I don't even care. For example, I enjoyed Avatar and X-Men Origins: Wolverine - hardly intellectual accomplishments for sure, but I was sufficiently entertained and I'm an X-Men fanboy - but her complaints were that beautiful bend of fair criticism and scathing humor. I could go further extolling the virtues of Ouch, but really, just go read it, mmkay?

Also, as I promised Maddy, here is a picture of me wearing my "I Have Two Fingers" shirt. If you don't get it, the answer is in her blog if you read far enough back. See? I've even given you incentive to go read it! It wouldn't be the same if I just told you. Something about teaching fish to eat for a man for a day or whatever.

By the way, I might be pretty close to legally retarded.... my webcam took this as a mirror image and I swear I flipped it about four times going "Is that the right way? Huh? No... I can read it both ways! Which way is the right fucking way!? Okay... breathe... Now, which side is my bed on...". Dickhead.

The PandaPie is Baked & Outta The Oven

2010-02-02T06:00:00.001-08:00

Well, hello. Fancy meeting you here. PandaPie is pretty much on its feet now; brand spanking new layout, and I'm committed to posting more regularly. And Hump Day Blog Whoring will see it's first installment tomorrow. Are you so excited you could pee? Yeah you are! Don't lie, I can see the wet patch.

iPad - Because Apple is Awesome and Menstrual Jokes Are Funny

2010-02-02T03:51:00.000-08:00

No, seriously, I just wanted to touch base on the whole topic of the imminent iPad. Terrible name, yes. And indeed, there seem to be more naysayers than yeasayers at this point, but I truly think the iPad is worth a second look. I've got to admit that I was originally disappointed, because I was expecting a tablet notebook, and the iPad clearly is not. But it stayed in my mind, niggling away...

The more I thought about it, the more I read about it, the more excited I got. I think Apple has undermined itself in terms of the hype in that people were expecting a tablet notebook, when really it seems that the iPad is perhaps more along the lines of being the missing link between smartphones, e-readers and notebooks; a kind of nebulous device category that has yet to be well defined.

Compared to notebooks, sure, its features are not nearly as robust or powerful. Compared to e-readers, it's on another level entirely in terms of its broad capabilities and applications. Compared to a smartphone, it provides a broader, more enriched experience, though it perhaps takes a few steps closer to being a domestic device and a few steps away from being a business tool. I get the impression that the iPad is aiming for somewhere in between these markets, where there's a big gap people probably haven't really thought about before. I think this is evidenced by its continuation of the existing App Store and the introduction of the iBookstore.

As with any piece of technology, it's well advised to be mindful of the cons, and iPad is not without them. I've got to say, as much as I'd like to ignore the fact that it doesn't have multi-tasking and doesn't have any usb outlets without the aid of a dock or dongle, or even a camera, it does bug me a bit. But bear with me Negative Nellies! I'm willing to look past that. The iPhone had plenty of detractors when the 2G version released, and all of these shortcomings have been addressed since (even the tiny things I didn't think mattered to me - who know how excited I was to be able to cut and past... Jesus wept).

Personally, I'm pretty stoked to have a glorified iPhone, as a hand-held media point and e-reader. Perhaps this might seem less exciting in America where e-readers are more common (I've never actually seen on in Australia, so it's more of an novelty to me). I really think when people stop comparing the iPad to a netbook and looking at it's potential as a domestic, multi-purpose appliance, then I think it could be a sleeper hit.

I'm not going to buy an iPad expecting it to replace my MacBook or desktop. Sure, as an artist, I'd love a true tablet computer but for the screen to be the size that I would want for art work the thing would be a monster and I can only see it being cumbersome and unmanageable. I'm going to buy an iPad because sometimes I don't want to sit at my desk to browse the net or listen to music - I scooch up on my bed or the couch and noodle about on my iPhone. Now, the thought of being able to do all this on a similar platform to the iPhone... but bigger... Add that to it being an e-reader... Can't you see the utter bliss in that? YEAH YOU DO.

But you don't have to take my word on how awesome the iPad is gonna be, take Stephen Fry's. You heard me. Stephen. Fry. Nuff said.

Hump Day Blog Whoring - No Show!

2010-01-26T23:36:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right, for all, 0.217 people out there who are following this blog, the promised "Hump Day Blog Whoring" is a no show this week. Why? Because there are more important things that I think I need to work on first, which are:

1. The blog layout. At the moment I'm just trying out a few freebie templates none of which are terribly "right" for us, and I kind of want to make -this- blog all spic and span before I start pimping out other blogs.

2. Consolidating a clear direction and purpose for this blog. I want to sit down with Mistress le Pan and figure out just what we want this blog to be, and where it's going to go. We won't be trashing Hump Day Blog Whoring like a dead body in a dumpster, just that we'll settle into our blog and then fire up the Blog Whoring anew.

Sound good? Sure. You bet it does.

Deh Neh-neh Neh Neh Neh!

2010-01-23T03:04:00.000-08:00

(Deh Neh-neh Neh Neh Neh! is the theme song of the 90's X-Men cartoon, by the way)

There are things in this life that come and go, and there are others that stay with you forever, and one of those things for me, my friends, is comics. X-Men comics to be exact. I've collected X-Men comics since I was perhaps nine years old, and though it might be something that comes and goes with convenience - comic stores aren't on every blog - or budgetary constraints - economic downturn? - I always come back to it and always with a sense of child-like delight.

I have a "box" at The Daily Planet comic store in the city and you can find it at www.dailyplanetonline.com.au. Incidentally, if you forget the "online" part of the address, it takes you to a website for a brothel in Melbourne. I guarantee that mistake has made many, many a fanboy's day. But probably not so much a mistake I wanted to make while I was on my work computer... oops! But I digress... So, having not worked in the city for a few months, I decided it was time to collected my titles, and I was so excited it was like Wild Cherry Pepsi was pouring down my spine (I believe that this would be good sensation... try to love me before you judge me). I wanted to share with you my new dose of awesomeness.

In there you'll find Uncanny X-Men, Astonishing X-Men, New Mutants, and a crossover title (I'll have to reread my last batch; I'm a bit fuzzy on what that's all about...).

I used to also get X-Force, but it was too time-travely for me. I'm really not into time-travel too much (unless it's the new Star Trek movie! OHMYLORDYYESSSS!), and I gotta say, I thought the art in X-Force was CRAZY good, but the writing was kinda blah for me, and frankly I can live with average artwork and great writing, but not so much the other way around. So I dropped that title quicker than Paris Hilton's vagina.

So, I'm really not sure what Paris Hilton's snackaterium has to do with dropping anything... I'm certain I wouldn't pick it up in the first place... I just wanted to work it in somehow. Cuz that's what I do. Thank you.

I Updated All Over Ya Mum's Face (And She Loved It)

2010-01-23T02:11:00.000-08:00

So, I'm hoping to implement some... shall we say... "traditions" here at PRPT. Little things to keep me motivation to post mah shit here.

The first of these will be in the vein of Follow Friday at Twitter, and it shall be called "Hump Day Blog Whoring", in which I shall present y'all with a blog that me likey. And you'll likey too, or you can ship out, ya lazy good fo' nothin' pube. Just kidding... or am I?

So, keep them peepers peeped on Wednesday for the first installment.

Peace o' Pie.

I am going to eat all of the barbeque shapes in the box.

2010-01-23T01:14:00.000-08:00

Can I just add that I am all about zombie blogs?

80s-Raver-Zombie-Pan approves. Yeah she does. I have to say though, if you know Pie and I at all, you will understand that this blog is not recommended for the faint-hearted or easily offended. If, however, you like jokes about Jesus and genitals and poo and wee, then cuddle up to the warm bosom of Punk Rock Plush Toyz, and we will enchant you with toilet humour and the strange tales of Insta-Karma and This Is So Wrong.

And now, I bid you farewell and leave you with this gem. No need to thank me, I've already thanked myself.

Love love love.

xx

Waisty McGee

2010-01-22T07:17:00.001-08:00

Elastic waistbands should never be visible. It makes baby fashion jesus cry.

ZOMBIE BLOG!!! ARRRGGGH NOM NOM NOM!

2010-01-22T06:11:00.000-08:00

Consider this blog a blog of the zombie variety. It was started, it died, and now it's back from the dead! Argh! Basically, I needed an outlet for my random stuff that I deem too random to post to my arty-farty blog, and realized this little fella was sitting here waiting for some brains. Or summat.

Spotlight plz, I'm about to get dramatic. I have been longing, yearning, aching to blog, and indeed I intended to, but when I sat down to do so at my other blog nothing came to me. This was the blog I was using to showcase myself as artist (hehe, haha, I still can't say that seriously...), so I felt beset by rules and limited by a tone I wanted to keep. But dammit! I had ideas I wanted to share! Ideas bigger than Twitter and Facebook updates but too riddled with colloquialisms or sheer and utter randomness (stupidness?) for Shy Lion.

And then this little creature dawned on me, and I saw the light! Punk Rock Plush Toyz is ALIVE! And hopefully Ms. Panda shall join me on this adventure of undead-bloggery.

K, I'm done for now, but meanwhile, look at this fucked up picture of my face!

What The Awwwwww!?

2008-07-03T16:12:00.001-07:00

So, this is a rare thing. An image that is equal parts of WTF!? and cute-splosion. It slightly disturbs me while at the same time warms the cockles of my old and weary heart.

Goodies for your eye and ear parts!

2008-07-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

Bullet For My Valentine - All These Things I Hate

I saw these guys along with Atreyu and A7X in May. Mmm, metally goodness.

Pannapost... whoooosh!

2008-07-02T21:08:00.001-07:00

Look out kiddies! It's a bird... it's a plane... it's... PANDA! (complete with panda ink)

Um... so I swear I wasn't just dry-humping the side of this blog. DON'T JUDGE ME. I'm here with an important community service announcement. I wish to advise everyone that these innocent-looking little suckers:

...are INSANELY ADDICTIVE. I kid you not. I went through an entire boxful yesterday. AN ENTIRE BOXFUL. THAT IS LUNACY. They should come armed with a government warning, like this:

Except less post-it-esque and more governmenty. HEY I HAVE AN ENGLISH DEGREE I'M ALLOWED TO MAKE UP WORDS. Shakespeare did it. Yeah he did. Look at all the good I do! Now get the hell out of here. Oh but first, if you're an insane fan of Metallica like one Miss Pan is, go out and buy the current issue of Metal Hammer magazine. They're on the cover. Oh yeah, that's right. I raped it. It's so rapey.

LOVE AT YOUR PARTS.

Could You Be More Rapey?

2008-07-02T19:54:00.004-07:00

Email from Panda re: blog progess.

Yay awesome! :D So excited. Imma rape this thing. Because it's so rapey. It's taking a whore bath.

What The Milk!?

2008-07-02T19:54:00.003-07:00

For centuries (decades... years...?) the question of nature versus nurture has loomed above the topic of sexual politics. Is it genetic? Is it because of molly-coddling mothers? Un-Christian mental illness? Demonic possession? Bites from radioactive spiders? NO!

No, citizens... it is...

MILK!

Am I the only who really *doesn't* want to see the milking process for this stuff? Kthnx.

Vintage Panda Pie

2008-07-02T19:54:00.002-07:00

So here is a conversation that Panda and I had quite a while ago, but it really describes our... world view, if you will. Our own anti-logic that informs pretty much everything we do. So, without further delay, I present to you...

THE FACE OF JESUS.
N.B. I wholly admit that we cannibalized this from our old blogs.

Pie
Panda and I took off to the cit-ay. And karma struck us. It struck us hard. Upon walking past a bum, I says to Panda, I says "Oh, there goes your BF." Then, a branch smacked me in the face. Instant karma! Later, Panda made a joke about street performers, and a leaf blew into her eye! INSTANT KARMA! Then, we were talking about LJ (being Live Journal, our former home), and she said L-Jina (like, (va)gina, with a J, we'z funnee) and her dress blew up! INSTANT KARMA AGAIN! And then I laughed so hard about L-Jina, that I got heartburn! INSTANT FREAKIN' KARMA!

After a wandering and lunch, we dropped my bag off at work and went to sit on the boardwalk over the river. We waxed lyrical for a while until the following exchange:

(looking into the water)
Panda: What would you do if like, a face floated past?

Pie: Like, just a face?

Panda: Yeah, a face?

Pie: Well, does it have a body, or is it just a face?

Panda: Haha! Just a face.

Pie: Haha! I'd probably pack my pants.

Panda: Would you poke it with a stick or something?

Pie: No, poking a face is kinda wrong. I'd poke a torso.

Panda: Yeah, a torso is okay, cuz, it's just a lump thing. But a face? You can't poke a face!

Pie: I know. That's wrong.

Panda: I'd feel bad if I got it in the eye.

Pie: Yeah, that's bad. But the torso's okay.

Panda: Yeah, but I'd be screaming the whole time. (torso stick-poking action and a screamy voice) "THIS IS SO WRONG!!" (poke poke poke)

Pie: (Also stick-pokes imaginary torso) ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

Panda: It's like a demented cartoon or something.

Pie: Yeah, The Adventures of Torso and Face.

Panda: Torso's all tough, like "You laughing at me? Yeah, I'm a torso. What you gonna do about it huh? Come over here and say that to me!" / "What're you going to do? You're just torso!" / "Oh no you didn't! C'me here!" And the guy is standing in front of the Torso and he's like "I'm here. So what're you going to do?" and he just disintegrates spontaneously, and Torso is all "Uh huh. I told you. Don't mess with the Torso."

Pie: And Face is there for comic relief, but because he's just a face, he can't actually do anything, so they cut to Face and he's like, just lying on a table or something, and it just sits there in silence.

Panda: And then there's canned laughter!

Pie: Yeah! And a "buh-dum ching" joke drum roll! *dies laughing*

Panda

I'm laughing all over again thinking of Face. Because like... it's just a face. Like... face skin. Like if you could just peel someone's face-skin off and leave the eyes and teeth and what-have-you behind.

Alrighty. So Pie and I were joking about one of the uber-Christians in the musical (that I worked on), and I was joking about how she had found Jesus. And it went kinda summin' like this:

Panda: (in a high pitched whiney - perhaps redneck sounding - Christian-y voice) "I FOUND JESUS! I keep him in a box. Under my bed. Want to see?" And then she like... pulls out a box with Face in it. And the face is Jesus.

Pie: But it doesn't have a Jesus beard. Or look anything like Jesus. It's just Face.

Panda: Yeah. (Pretends to poke the Jesus face) THIS IS SO WROOOOOOOONNNGG!!!

And so was born... the Face of Jesus and his sassy friend Torso.

First Post! Hooot!

2008-07-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

So welcome to Punk Rock Plush Toyz. This blog is like the baby of Panda and myself, except, you know, we never did it. I don't know exactly what direction this'll be taking, and knowing Panda and I, it could go in ANY direction. We're random like that. I don't know if it we're going to gear it towards being a community thing, or if it will simply be a little personal pleasure that doesn't reach too far. But hey, we don't have to decide that now. Time will tell.

The things I can be sure of is that we'll be posting stuff we think is awesome. Whether that's a youtube video that's rocking our world "Daddy, she's sleepin' over!" or quoting awesome stuff ("Hooot!") or just transcribing random and hilarious conversations that we've had ("What if Jesus were just... like... a face?"/"THIS IS SO WRONG!"), I'm sure you'll be entertained, either because you get it, or you're absolutely mystified by it (we rarely make sense). Something you may not know about us is that we take in purebreds, give them a weave and tattoo eyebrows on them. Thank you, Deven Green.

So, enjoy your stay here with us, make yourself comfortable in the mysterious space between the floor and the ceiling and lick some Pepsi from the lino (that's just how we roll) and let the blogginz begin!

Welcome to Punk Rock Plush Toyz

2008-07-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sweater-necked Ninjas. Oh yeah.