What The Awwwwww!?

So, this is a rare thing. An image that is equal parts of WTF!? and cute-splosion. It slightly disturbs me while at the same time warms the cockles of my old and weary heart.

Goodies for your eye and ear parts!

Bullet For My Valentine - All These Things I Hate

I saw these guys along with Atreyu and A7X in May. Mmm, metally goodness.

Pannapost... whoooosh!

Look out kiddies! It's a bird... it's a plane... it's... PANDA! (complete with panda ink)

Um... so I swear I wasn't just dry-humping the side of this blog. DON'T JUDGE ME. I'm here with an important community service announcement. I wish to advise everyone that these innocent-looking little suckers:

...are INSANELY ADDICTIVE. I kid you not. I went through an entire boxful yesterday. AN ENTIRE BOXFUL. THAT IS LUNACY. They should come armed with a government warning, like this:

Except less post-it-esque and more governmenty. HEY I HAVE AN ENGLISH DEGREE I'M ALLOWED TO MAKE UP WORDS. Shakespeare did it. Yeah he did. Look at all the good I do! Now get the hell out of here. Oh but first, if you're an insane fan of Metallica like one Miss Pan is, go out and buy the current issue of Metal Hammer magazine. They're on the cover. Oh yeah, that's right. I raped it. It's so rapey.

LOVE AT YOUR PARTS.

xx

Could You Be More Rapey?

Email from Panda re: blog progess.

Yay awesome! :D So excited. Imma rape this thing. Because it's so rapey. It's taking a whore bath.

What The Milk!?

For centuries (decades... years...?) the question of nature versus nurture has loomed above the topic of sexual politics. Is it genetic? Is it because of molly-coddling mothers? Un-Christian mental illness? Demonic possession? Bites from radioactive spiders? NO!

No, citizens... it is...

MILK!

Am I the only who really *doesn't* want to see the milking process for this stuff? Kthnx.

Vintage Panda Pie

So here is a conversation that Panda and I had quite a while ago, but it really describes our... world view, if you will. Our own anti-logic that informs pretty much everything we do. So, without further delay, I present to you...

THE FACE OF JESUS.
N.B. I wholly admit that we cannibalized this from our old blogs.

Pie
Panda and I took off to the cit-ay. And karma struck us. It struck us hard. Upon walking past a bum, I says to Panda, I says "Oh, there goes your BF." Then, a branch smacked me in the face. Instant karma! Later, Panda made a joke about street performers, and a leaf blew into her eye! INSTANT KARMA! Then, we were talking about LJ (being Live Journal, our former home), and she said L-Jina (like, (va)gina, with a J, we'z funnee) and her dress blew up! INSTANT KARMA AGAIN! And then I laughed so hard about L-Jina, that I got heartburn! INSTANT FREAKIN' KARMA!

After a wandering and lunch, we dropped my bag off at work and went to sit on the boardwalk over the river. We waxed lyrical for a while until the following exchange:

(looking into the water)
Panda: What would you do if like, a face floated past?

Pie: Like, just a face?

Panda: Yeah, a face?

Pie: Well, does it have a body, or is it just a face?

Panda: Haha! Just a face.

Pie: Haha! I'd probably pack my pants.

Panda: Would you poke it with a stick or something?

Pie: No, poking a face is kinda wrong. I'd poke a torso.

Panda: Yeah, a torso is okay, cuz, it's just a lump thing. But a face? You can't poke a face!

Pie: I know. That's wrong.

Panda: I'd feel bad if I got it in the eye.

Pie: Yeah, that's bad. But the torso's okay.

Panda: Yeah, but I'd be screaming the whole time. (torso stick-poking action and a screamy voice) "THIS IS SO WRONG!!" (poke poke poke)

Pie: (Also stick-pokes imaginary torso) ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

Panda: It's like a demented cartoon or something.

Pie: Yeah, The Adventures of Torso and Face.

Panda: Torso's all tough, like "You laughing at me? Yeah, I'm a torso. What you gonna do about it huh? Come over here and say that to me!" / "What're you going to do? You're just torso!" / "Oh no you didn't! C'me here!" And the guy is standing in front of the Torso and he's like "I'm here. So what're you going to do?" and he just disintegrates spontaneously, and Torso is all "Uh huh. I told you. Don't mess with the Torso."

Pie: And Face is there for comic relief, but because he's just a face, he can't actually do anything, so they cut to Face and he's like, just lying on a table or something, and it just sits there in silence.

Panda: And then there's canned laughter!

Pie: Yeah! And a "buh-dum ching" joke drum roll! *dies laughing*

Panda

I'm laughing all over again thinking of Face. Because like... it's just a face. Like... face skin. Like if you could just peel someone's face-skin off and leave the eyes and teeth and what-have-you behind.

Alrighty. So Pie and I were joking about one of the uber-Christians in the musical (that I worked on), and I was joking about how she had found Jesus. And it went kinda summin' like this:

Panda: (in a high pitched whiney - perhaps redneck sounding - Christian-y voice) "I FOUND JESUS! I keep him in a box. Under my bed. Want to see?" And then she like... pulls out a box with Face in it. And the face is Jesus.

Pie: But it doesn't have a Jesus beard. Or look anything like Jesus. It's just Face.

Panda: Yeah. (Pretends to poke the Jesus face) THIS IS SO WROOOOOOOONNNGG!!!

And so was born... the Face of Jesus and his sassy friend Torso.

First Post! Hooot!

So welcome to Punk Rock Plush Toyz. This blog is like the baby of Panda and myself, except, you know, we never did it. I don't know exactly what direction this'll be taking, and knowing Panda and I, it could go in ANY direction. We're random like that. I don't know if it we're going to gear it towards being a community thing, or if it will simply be a little personal pleasure that doesn't reach too far. But hey, we don't have to decide that now. Time will tell.

The things I can be sure of is that we'll be posting stuff we think is awesome. Whether that's a youtube video that's rocking our world "Daddy, she's sleepin' over!" or quoting awesome stuff ("Hooot!") or just transcribing random and hilarious conversations that we've had ("What if Jesus were just... like... a face?"/"THIS IS SO WRONG!"), I'm sure you'll be entertained, either because you get it, or you're absolutely mystified by it (we rarely make sense). Something you may not know about us is that we take in purebreds, give them a weave and tattoo eyebrows on them. Thank you, Deven Green.

So, enjoy your stay here with us, make yourself comfortable in the mysterious space between the floor and the ceiling and lick some Pepsi from the lino (that's just how we roll) and let the blogginz begin!

Welcome to Punk Rock Plush Toyz

Sweater-necked Ninjas. Oh yeah.