THE FACE OF JESUS.
N.B. I wholly admit that we cannibalized this from our old blogs.
Pie
Panda and I took off to the cit-ay. And karma struck us. It struck us hard. Upon walking past a bum, I says to Panda, I says "Oh, there goes your BF." Then, a branch smacked me in the face. Instant karma! Later, Panda made a joke about street performers, and a leaf blew into her eye! INSTANT KARMA! Then, we were talking about LJ (being Live Journal, our former home), and she said L-Jina (like, (va)gina, with a J, we'z funnee) and her dress blew up! INSTANT KARMA AGAIN! And then I laughed so hard about L-Jina, that I got heartburn! INSTANT FREAKIN' KARMA!
After a wandering and lunch, we dropped my bag off at work and went to sit on the boardwalk over the river. We waxed lyrical for a while until the following exchange:
(looking into the water)
Panda: What would you do if like, a face floated past?
Pie: Like, just a face?
Panda: Yeah, a face?
Pie: Well, does it have a body, or is it just a face?
Panda: Haha! Just a face.
Pie: Haha! I'd probably pack my pants.
Panda: Would you poke it with a stick or something?
Pie: No, poking a face is kinda wrong. I'd poke a torso.
Panda: Yeah, a torso is okay, cuz, it's just a lump thing. But a face? You can't poke a face!
Pie: I know. That's wrong.
Panda: I'd feel bad if I got it in the eye.
Pie: Yeah, that's bad. But the torso's okay.
Panda: Yeah, but I'd be screaming the whole time. (torso stick-poking action and a screamy voice) "THIS IS SO WRONG!!" (poke poke poke)
Pie: (Also stick-pokes imaginary torso) ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
Panda: It's like a demented cartoon or something.
Pie: Yeah, The Adventures of Torso and Face.
Panda: Torso's all tough, like "You laughing at me? Yeah, I'm a torso. What you gonna do about it huh? Come over here and say that to me!" / "What're you going to do? You're just torso!" / "Oh no you didn't! C'me here!" And the guy is standing in front of the Torso and he's like "I'm here. So what're you going to do?" and he just disintegrates spontaneously, and Torso is all "Uh huh. I told you. Don't mess with the Torso."
Pie: And Face is there for comic relief, but because he's just a face, he can't actually do anything, so they cut to Face and he's like, just lying on a table or something, and it just sits there in silence.
Panda: And then there's canned laughter!
Pie: Yeah! And a "buh-dum ching" joke drum roll! *dies laughing*
Panda
I'm laughing all over again thinking of Face. Because like... it's just a face. Like... face skin. Like if you could just peel someone's face-skin off and leave the eyes and teeth and what-have-you behind.
Alrighty. So Pie and I were joking about one of the uber-Christians in the musical (that I worked on), and I was joking about how she had found Jesus. And it went kinda summin' like this:
Panda: (in a high pitched whiney - perhaps redneck sounding - Christian-y voice) "I FOUND JESUS! I keep him in a box. Under my bed. Want to see?" And then she like... pulls out a box with Face in it. And the face is Jesus.
Pie: But it doesn't have a Jesus beard. Or look anything like Jesus. It's just Face.
Panda: Yeah. (Pretends to poke the Jesus face) THIS IS SO WROOOOOOOONNNGG!!!
And so was born... the Face of Jesus and his sassy friend Torso.
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